Old enough to serve, not old enough to be served: the Army and Alcohol There was a thread a while back where a pun thread took off; it was about the moral hypocrisy of being allowed to put your life at risk fighting in war, while simultaneously not being allowed to drink alcohol. While I detest most pun threads, this one seemed entertaining to me for some reason, despite the fact that almost all of the puns were of the exact same format. Anyway, I compiled all the puns from that thread, made a few alterations to improve the rhythm/meter, and also added a few of my own jokes. Enjoy. When you're 18 - 20 in the United States of America, you're: - old enough to get shot, not old enough to have a shot - old enough for the draft, not old enough for what's on draft - too old to whine, not old enough for wine - old enough to shoot a shotgun, not old enough to shotgun - old enough to lose your life at the war, not old enough to booze your life at the bar - old enough for a purple heart, not old enough for a pabst blue ribbon - old enough to waste someone, not old enough to get wasted - old enough to face some shit, not old enough to get shitfaced - old enough to deploy bombs, not old enough to jager bomb - old enough to drive a tank, not old enough to get tanked - old enough for PTSD, not old enough for Long Island Iced Tea - old enough for a round of bullets, not old enough for a round of shots - old enough for murder, not old enough for red rum - old enough to kill a cadet, not old enough for tequila just yet - old enough to kill a vet, not old enough for tequila yet - old enough to screw, not old enough to brew - old enough for drills and kills, not yet permitted to distill - to cast his life, they will allow, yet still he can't drink whiskey now - old enough to see death and all, but still too young to drink ethanol