I predict that Obama's next move is to threaten to hold his breath until Russia leaves the Crimea.

I was with my wife in Russia when it starts to drizzle So I say to my wife ""It's raining"" she quickly responds (looking to start a fight) ""Actually, I think it's snowing"". This goes back and forth for a few minutes when I notice my buddy Officer Rudolf of the communist national guard. I go over to him and ask, ""Officer Rudolf, is it raining or snowing?"" He glances over and replies, ""raining, ofcourse"". I turn back to my wife and triumphantly announce, ""See, Rudolf the red knows rain dea…

One day in Soviet Russia, an officer is ordered to give a ticket to anyone speeding Mikhail Gorbachev comes driving into Russia after a meeting in belgrade, he is with his chauffeur and must get to the Kremlin as fast as possible. He tells his chauffeur to get to the back and that he will drive. As Gorbachev is speeding, the officer sees the speeding car and pulls him over. At the end of the day he is asked why he didn't give a ticket to that speeding car. The officer replies with, ""I couldn't …

A man walks into a bar in Russia. ""Can I have one beer?"" - he asks the barman. ""That will be two hundred rubles,"" - says the barman. """"What? It was one hundred yesterday!"" - says the man. ""Well, you see, it is one hundred for a beer and now you have to add a hundred for Crimea,""- says the barman. The man hands him two hundred rubles. The barman gives him back a hundred and says: ""We are out of beer"".