Falklands veteran A British officer spotted a busker in the London Underground with a sign that read: "VETERAN SOLDIER OF THE FALKLANDS WAR." The officer thought, "Poor chap, I was there and it was awful!" Feeling sorry for a fellow veteran, he took £20 out of his wallet and gave it to the busker. The officer was then greeted with a hearty: "Gracias, Señor!"

The Army Airborne major was used to harassment from Air Force fliers about crazy Army paratroopers jumping out of perfectly good aircraft. ""Obviously the Air Force knows there's no such thing as a 'perfectly good aircraft'"" the irritated officer finally countered one afternoon ""because they pay you bastards four times as much to stay in one as the Army pays its men to jump."" ""You've got it all wrong Major"" an Air Force sergeant replied. ""The Army figures anyone stupid enough to jump out …

Mr Singh walks into a bank London and asks for the loan officer. He says he's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow £5000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so Mr Singh hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce, which costs quarter of a million pounds. “The car is parked on the street in front of the bank,” says Mr Singh, “and I have all the necessary papers.” The bank officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan…

Cop: "We arrested this man beating the living daylights out of some poor guy for no reason at all. What should we charge him with?" Desk sergeant: "Impersonating a police officer."