You lied! Santa Claus is NOT real, mom! If "mom" is even your real name... [Neighbor to mom] hi Susan! *kid faints*

14 years ago tonight, a loaf of frozen reindeer shit fell from the sky & struck my father, killing him instantly.

I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus. The FedEx guy, and the Walmart greeter. Mom's kind of a slut.

I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus. Then I saw her arguing with him about money. Now I see Santa drinking by himself.