The miser's will A notorious miser died, and in his will he left his $3 million estate split evenly among his three sons: a doctor, a priest, and a lawyer. Being selfish even in death, he left each of them strict instructions to put the money in his coffin when they buried him. After the funeral, the three were talking, and the doctor said ""I have a confession to make. I didn't actually put all the money in the coffin -- it seemed like such a waste. I kept out $200,000 to buy some new equipment…

Teacher persuasion, failed. The children had all been photographed for their high school picture, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. ""Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,"" There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or ""That's Michael, he's a doctor.'"" A small voice at the back of the room rang out, ""And there's the teacher. She's dead.""

There's five people on a plane... A doctor, a preacher, a lawyer, a young boy, and the pilot. The pilot comes on the intercom mid-flight screaming ""Mayday! Mayday! The plane is going to crash! Now listen up: there's only four parachutes on this plane and five of us, so you guys decide who's staying with the plane, but I'm jumping!"" And with that, the pilot grabs a parachute and leaves the doomed plane. The doctor comes before the other passengers of the plane and says ""As a doctor, I've used …

Johnny in school At school, the children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. ""Just think how nice it will be to look at the picture when you're all grown up and can say, 'There's Jennifer... she's a lawyer,' or 'There's Michael... he's a doctor' or..."" Suddenly, Little Johnny spoke out ""And there's the teacher... she's dead."" *edit: formatting