Elderly Couple Go to Heaven Together They both arrive at the pearly gates together and meet Saint Peter, who says ""Let me show you around"" He pointed to a mansion and said ""That will be your house, located next to the country club."" The old man asks, ""and how much will that cost?"" St Peter replies, ""oh there's no charges, it's free, you're in heaven"". He adds, ""the country club has no fees or costs either"" The old man is really happy by now and asks about food. St Peter says, ""Although you don't need to eat, we do have full buffets with the very best pork, beef and poultry"" The old man asks, ""Aren't those bad for our health?"" St Peter assures him, ""You're in heaven now, there is no need to worry about your health."" The old man turns to his wife and smacks her upside the head. She says, ""What was THAT for?"" He answers, ""If it wasn't for you and your bran muffins, we could have been here 30 years ago!""