Sven and Ole joke (do your best Swedish accent when reading their lines) Sven and Ole both lost their jobs when the clothing manufacturer they worked at closed. At the unemployment office, Sven was asked what position he held at the factory, he replied ""Ya, well I sew women's underpants."" He was told to go to the next line to claim his unemployment check. Ole was asked the same question, to which he replied ""Diesel fitter."" He too was told to go to the next line to get his unemployment check…

Sven the Farmer A Minnesota farmer named Sven had a car accident. He was hit by a truck owned by the Ajax Company. In court, the Ajax Company's hot shot attorney questioned him thus "Didn't you say to the state trooper at the scene of the accident, 'I'm fine?'" Sven responded: "Vell, I'lla tell you vat happened dere. I'd yust loaded my fav'rit cow, Bessie, into da..." "I didn't ask for any details," the lawyer interrupted. "Just answer the question. Did you not say, at the scene of the accid…

A man backpacking in Europe... Comes across a small village with no modern technology. It's starting to get dark so he asks a villager if he can stay the night. The villager agrees. As the night goes on, the man gets bored and asks the villager if there is any way he can have a good time. *Wink wink* The villager says "well there is Sven". The man thinks to himself "I'm not gay, but what the hell" and asks how much for Sven. To which the villager replies 400 euros. The man says "wow that's a…

An illustrious Count, Wictor Oblodowsky, agrees to conduct Beethoven's 9th Symphony in a Baltimore gym. He's hesitant at first. He'd only been to America once before, and it was a favor for a friend. The oboist in his orchestra kindly loaned him the first season of The Wire, but the Count never watched it, as he'd never gotten around to buying a DVD player. After an uneventful flight and some trouble getting the timpani through customs, the weary orchestra checks into their hotel. The performanc…