A guy in Hawaii survived a shark attack while surfing by punching the shark in the face and I get scared to take a shower if I see a spider.

I took a class to learn Chinese phonetically. Here are some phrases: Ai Bang Mai Ne: I bumped into the coffee table Chin Tu Fat: You need a face lift Gun Pao Der: An ancient Chinese invention Hu Flung Dung: Which one of you fertilized the field? Hu Yu Hai Ding: We have reason to believe you are harboring a fugitive Jan Ne Ka Sun: A former late night talk show host Kum Hia: Approach me Lao Ze Sho: Gilligan's Island Lao Ze: Not very good Lin Ching: An illegal execution Moon Lan Ding: A great achie…

Retired golf vacation in Hawaii... A man retires after 35 years at the same job and decides to take his first retirement vacation in Hawaii with his wife. He is really looking forward to two weeks of sightseeing and golf. The day they arrive, he signs up for pro golf lessons at the beautiful Pebble Beach Country Club. After a night out with his wife, they wake refreshed and go out to the links. The man and his wife and the golf pro begin the course and they do rather well. After the sixth hole, …

A Chinese went to a bar in Hawaii to have some drinks.. A Chinese went to a bar in Hawaii to have some drinks. At the counter, he sat next to a famous Hollywood producer, Steven Spielberg, who was already ahead by a quart of alcohol.After a round of beer the Chinese sensed that the famous producer was glaring at him. Suddenly, in a flash, the Chinese crashed down from his stool, felled by a vicious hook from the producer. Picking himself up, he yelled, ""What the hell was that for?"" The produce…