😄 I've been Nominated for Facebook's New Award, Most Funny/Best Posts in 2013!.......In other news I l...

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I've been Nominated for Facebook's New Award, Most Funny/Best Posts in 2013!.......In other news I lost my job, my wife, car, and all contact with the outside World!!!

#Facebooks #Marriage #Driving

Joke ID: 01KKTN7QBNB0XMT3QBPAG7FKGQ

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Wife: We need to go to the store. We're out of milk. Me: We can wait a few days. Wife: We're out of beer. Me: *dives in the car*

#Marriage #Driving #Bar

[car dealership] WIFE: let me do the talking, ur a terrible negotiator SALESMAN: u can drive off with this car for 18k ME: we'll double that

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*wakes up to wife and son screaming* me: What are you guys yelling about? them: YOU'RE DRIVING

#Marriage #Driving #One-Liner

[at preschool open house hearing nut allergy policy] *raises hand* What if I draw a peanut on her napkin? Wife: Please go wait in the car

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