"Sir you can't bring your dog onto the plane" [labradoodle puts on tiny pilot hat] "Omg captain I'm so sorry"

Like Captain Ahab, I have my own white whale. But I have no one else to blame, I'm the one who married her.

What did Captain Ahab say when he harpooned a whale's tail fin on the first try? ""Well that was a fluke.""

Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.