An Irishman running frantically late... for a court appearance was having trouble finding a parking spot down town. In solemn prayer he asked the Lord of Heaven to help him find a parking spot. In return he would give up his Irish whiskey and go to Sunday Mass for the rest of his life. Suddenly there, like the Red Sea parting, appeared a parking spot! ""Never mind Lord, I found one. Tanks anyway.""

It was at the height of world war II... ... and Hitler decided to invade Britain. So he asked the head of the Kriegsmarine to study plans for a water assault on Britain and carrying ground troops. After a brief study, the admirals conveyed with the Fuhrer, and told him that it was absolutely impossible, there was no way the Reich could muster enough ships to carry all the troops and the logistics necessary. The only way would be to do like Moses, and part the water of the English channels like …

So I wrote some Chuck Norris jokes the other day... The devil once sold his soul to Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn't speak, he thinks loudly. New Orleans didn't flood because of a hurricane. Chuck Norris did a canon ball into the Gulf of Mexico. Chuck Norris once punched the Tower of Pisa. Chuck Norris doesn't fart, because nothing can escape Chuck Norris. When Chuck Norris goes skydiving, the Earth uses a parachute. When Chuck Norris takes a shower, the soap doesn't clean him. He cleans the s…

The teacher was quizzing the bible students... and she asked ""Who parted the Red Sea?"" Just then, rotten little Johnny poked Suzy with a pin, causing her to exclaim ""Holy Moses!"" The teacher said ""Very good, Suzy!"" Then the teacher asked ""Who turned water into wine?"" Johnny pokes Suzy with the pin again, who hollers ""Jesus Christ!"" The teacher can't contain herself, and asks Suzy ""What did King Davids wife say to him as they retired for the night?"" Johnny pokes Suzy yet again, bringi…