Chuck Norris Never get tired of Chuck Norris facts, I would say jokes but I might wake up to a roundhouse to the face... 1. When Chuck Norris was born he drove his mom home from the hospital. 2. When Chuck Norris does a push-up, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down. 3. Michael Jackson could do the Moonwalk on Earth, but Chuck Norris can do the Earthwalk on the moon. 4. Chuck Norris can squeeze orange juice out of a lemon or an apple. 5. Human blood types are usually 0+, A+, o…

If Chuck Norris round-house kicks you, you will die. If Chuck Norris' misses you with the round-house kick, the wind behind the kick will tear out your pancreas and you will still die.

Chuck Norris's show is called Walker: Texas Ranger, because Chuck Norris doesn't run.

Once a grizzly bear threatened to eat Chuck Norris. Chuck showed the bear his fist and the bear proceeded to begin eating itself, as it was the less painful way to die.