The Italian bride A newly married Italian couple is spending their honeymoon in the bride's mother's country cottage. It's the 1930s the bride's father died long ago, and they don't have much money so this is the best they can do. The new bride, a lovely young woman, has never left her village and never been with a man before. Her new husband sits alone upstairs while she tells her mother how nervous and scared she is to be with a man for the first time. ""You-a don't-a worry"" Her mother tells …

Three women get together for coffee and the topic of conversation turns to contraception. The first woman says: ""We've used the rhythm method for years. The Holy Father approves of it and its surprisingly effective - it's only ever failed us twice."" The second woman says: ""Holy Father, Shmoly Father. We don't go for all that pious claptrap. We've always used the pill. It's easy, it doesn't rob us of our pleasure and it's only ever failed us once."" The third woman says: ""We've always used th…

A man goes to a fortune teller. She lets out a gasp. ""What is it?"" he asks. ""Your future is very grim, my child."" says the fortune teller. ""What is it? Tell me!"" responds the man. ""I cannot say it, but I will right it down."" says the fortune teller. She writes down something on a piece of paper and hands it to the man. The man stuffs it in his coat pocket without reading it. Later that evening, the man tells his wife about the experience. ""Show me the piece of paper then."" says his wif…

A guy and a blind german? He takes a long swig and when he approaches the car, clasping his half-drawn gun. A pig walks into a pharmacy and asks the clerk for a file. He began to tell his dad that he had told his wife what happened. The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do until he saw a war-zone scene in the bar.