An anthropologist is completing his lifelong study of world dance... And he's celebrating. Celebrating his tail off. See, he'd spent the last 25 years cataloging every single dance performed by every group in the world. Polish Bogarodzicas. Sioux Buckskin dances to Seminole Green Corn dances. Inuit dances to the whales, Ghanaian Kpanlongo, Finnish step-dance. All of it. And he's found himself in Australia, recording the last one of all. A Wungubal in the north, performed by a small group of Abor…

Teacher: Who was the first woman on earth? Fred: I don't know Sir. Teacher: Come on Fred it has something to do with an apple. Fred: Granny Smith?

Who was that on the phone Fred? Fred: No one important. Just some man who said it was long distance from Australia so I told him I knew that already and put the phone down !

The teacher was giving her pupils a quiz on counting. Jackie got things started by counting from 1 to 10. ""Now Fred"" said the teacher ""you take over beginning with 11."" ""11 14 23 42 26"" said Fred. ""What kind of counting is that'?"" asked the teacher ""Who's counting'?"" replied Fred. ""I'm calling signals.""