Helo, my name is Ma-ma-ma-ma-martin. ""You stutter?"" ""No, my father did and the registrar was an idiot.""

There once was a boy named Jimmy. Jimmy was 8 years old old, almost 9. Jimmy NEVER got in trouble. So one day, he was doing art with his class at school and he broke the purple plate. His teacher said ""Jimmy! You broke the purple plate! Go to the office!"" So Jimmy went to the office, as he was told. When he got there, the principal asked him, ""Hi there little Jimmy! Why are you here??"" Jimmy told him about how he broke the purple plate. The principal said, ""YOU ARE EXPELLED!"" so Jimmy went…

Martin had just received his brand new drivers license. The family troops out to the driveway and climbs in the car where he is going to take them for a ride for the first time. Dad immediately heads for the back seat directly behind the newly minted driver. ""I'll bet you're back there to get a change of scenery after all those months of sitting in the front passenger seat teaching me how to drive"" says the beaming boy to his father. ""Nope"" comes dad's reply ""I'm gonna sit here and kick t…

A boy comes home from school at 7pm His dad says ""where were you? "" ""I was with Jessica."" He replied. ""What were you doing?"" ""We were revising."" After picking a snack off the table the son says ""These fishcakes are lovely."" Dad replies ""Wash your hands Martin