Jack was going to be married to Jill ... so the night before the wedding his father sits him down for a little fireside chat. ""Jack, let me tell you something. On my wedding night in our honeymoon suite, I took off my pants and handed them to your mother, and said, ""Here, try these on."" So, she did and said: ""These are too big, I can't wear them.'"" So I replied: ""Damn right! I wear the pants in this family and always will."" Ever since that night we have never had any problems."" Jack thou…

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water. Jack's pants were a little loose and his pants fell down. Jill looked at down and said ""Hey, what's that thing?"" ""I don't know,"" said Jack, ""I'll go ask my dad."" That night, Jack asked his dad what the thing in his pants was. ""That's your car,"" said Jack's dad, ""you gotta park it in as many garages as you can."" Jack and Jill went back up the hill the next day. Jill asked Jack, ""So what did your dad say?"" ""He said it's my car,"…

Two women are waiting to get into Heaven Both are in their mid-30's with a lot in common. They introduce themselves as Carol and Jill and quickly become good friends. After some time, Jill finally asks the big question. ""So how did you end up here?"" Carol takes some time before she answers. ""Well, I had been married for five years and my husband started to act strange over the past month. I find out that he was cheating on me and since he worked at home, I decided to catch him in the act by c…

WHY CAN'T YOU BE LIKE THAT? Jill tells her husband, ""Jack, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome. Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes homes, he brings her a dozen roses. Now, why can't you do that?"" ""Gosh,"" Jack says, ""why I hardly know the girl."" [Source](http://smile.xonaki.com/Joke/EN?categoryCode=EN&jokeId=161#mainBody)