4 English Football Fans are in a plane crash Four English Football fans, a Manchester United Fan, a Liverpool Fan, an Arsenal fan and a Chelsea fan are friends and all go on a holiday together to Europe but the plane taking them crashes in the Alps. The Chelsea fan dies on impact and the other 3 are the only survivors. They are left alone without food or rescue for weeks and they realise that the only chance for the 3 of them to continue to survive is to resort to cannibalism and eat the Chel…

An American and a Russian die and go to Hell... (Long) They are met at the gates by Satan, who offers them a choice: They can either go to American Hell or Russian Hell. Both new arrivals are curious as to what the difference is, so Satan explains that in American Hell you are free to do whatever you want; you'll find that we have all the finest amenities here in Hell, whatever your heart desires, you can find it here! However, you have to eat a shovel-full of Shit each morning, but then you…

told my girl I was going to a wine tasting, now she's coming and I was just gonna eat a dead bird and some expired cat food behind a Costco

Every chef on Chopped's like "I was medically dead for 3 yrs & my wife married the guy who pushed me off that bridge. My specialty is bao."