You know what I'd like for Christmas, mom? I'd like you to stop treating me like a child. Also I'd like some money and some new socks.

A man enters a pun competition [X-post r/feghoot] I posted this on r/feghoot a few days ago. It's a sub with ridiculously long jokes that have puns at the end, but I thought r/jokes might like it too This man really needed some money over Christmas to buy his family some presents. So of course he was over the moon when he found out his local newspaper was running a pun competition. Now this man, being a dad, loved dad jokes and especially puns, and as all dads do, thought his puns were the best.…

Halloween election Year 2026: ""Dad, tell me a spooky halloween story."" ""Once upon a time there was an old man who wore a jack-o-lantern over his head so he would always be frowning to express that he never made enough money to satisfy his greed. Everyone made jokes about how he looked like an orange smurf with fake hair. He did not care. He liked the color orange bigly. One day he was attending a golf match and noticed a beautiful woman at the clubhouse. He cornered her, pressed his lips agai…

I'm so poor that for Christmas my mom cut a hole in my pants so I would have something to play with.