[Pilot intercom] Me: "Hello, this is the co-pilot speaking. Not to cause alarm but the pilot has passed out and I lied a lot on my resume."

Free advice: Saying "meaty shaft" in a corporate meeting is like saying bomb on an airplane.

Pierre the French fighter pilot Pierre, a French fighter pilot, takes his girlfriend, Marie, out for a pleasant little picnic by the river Seine. It is a beautiful day and love is in the air, so Marie leans over to Pierre and says: ""Pierre, kiss me"". So our hero grabs a bottle of red wine and splashes it on Marie's lips. ""What are you doing, Pierre?"" shrieks Marie. ""Well, my name is Pierre, the French fighter pilot, and when I have red meat I like to have red wine!"" His answer is good enou…

The Five-Kick Method (long) A very famous and successful attorney from NYC was hunting ducks in the countryside. He was having a bad day in the woods as there didn't seem to be any ducks at all to be hunted. Then, all of a sudden, he saw the most beautiful, fattest duck of his life swiftly take off, so he aptly aimed and shot down the fat bastard. His dog quickly sped off in the direction od the fallen bird. Turns out the duck had fallen just a few feet within the fences of a private property. W…