I was trying to get the bubbles out of my screen protector and I accidentally bought a horse on eBay.

Lightly used fish tank for sale on eBay. Does not contain three goldfish ghosts.

Selling a python Paddy was selling his pet python on eBay. Some bloke rang him up and asked, ""Is it big?"" Paddy said, ""Massive."" The bloke said, ""how many feet?"" Paddy says, ""None, it's a snake ya fecking idiot!""

Just ordered a chicken and and an egg off ebay... Will let you know the results soon.