Who has better friends? A husband and wife are having a friendly debate one night, centered on the topic of who has better friends. They each offer a wide variety of anecdotes and stories, but in the end, they decide to put it to the test. "Here's what we'll do," the wife suggests. "I'll call your friends, and you call mine. We'll both pretend that the other person hasn't come home yet, and that we're worried. Whoever's friends give the best advice about where to find us clearly know us better…

The only clean joke Michael Caine could think of to tell the Queen. I remember this joke from a TV interview I saw with Michael Caine about 20 years ago, and it's stuck with me: A telemarketer calls a house and a little girl answers the phone: Little girl (LG): \*quiet voice* *"Hello?"* Telemarketer (TM) "Hello there and good day, would you mother be available to talk to?" (LG) \*quiet voice* *"No, she's busy at the moment.*" TM: "Oh, okay, would your father be there at all?" (LG) \*quie…

Abbot and Costello: Computer Shopping ABBOT: Ultimate Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help you? COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up a home office in the den, and I'm thinking of buying a computer. ABBOT: Mac? COSTELLO: No, the name is Bud. ABBOT: Your computer? COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one. ABBOT: Mac? COSTELLO: I told you, my name is Bud. ABBOT: What about Windows? COSTELLO: Why? Does it get stuffy? ABBOT: Do you want a computer with Windows? COSTELL…

The phone bill was exceptionally high. Man called a family meeting to discuss .... Dad: This is unacceptable. I don't use home phone, I use my work phone. Mum: Me too. I hardly use home phone. I use my companies phone Son: I use my office mobile, I never use the home phone. All of them shocked and together looked at the maid who's patiently listening to them. Maid: "What? So we all use our work phones. What's the Big deal?? 😂😆