My missus asked me where her Valentine's day card was. I said, "Sorry, I had a headache."#Valentines#Holiday0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
I wonder what Cannibals & Aztecs would say, watching civilized people eat symbolic hearts of loved ones on Valentine's Day.#Valentines#Cannibals And Aztecs#Holiday0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
I asked when my gym membership was up and the dude said "day before Valentine's Day" like I'm some genius who knows when Valentine's Day is.#Valentines#Holiday0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
My mother has now been sending me a Valentine's card for 28 years. She's persistent but I'm not interested.#Valentines#Holiday#Parents#One-Liner0🔗 ShareWhatsApp
For Valentine's Day my GF upped my life insurance policy. Unrelated, anyone know why there's a ticking sound coming from underneath my car?#Valentines#Holiday#Driving0🔗 ShareWhatsApp