St. Peter and the Lawyer A lawyer dies and goes to Heaven. ""There must be some mistake,"" the lawyer argues. ""I'm too young to die. I'm only fifty five."" ""Fifty five?"" says Saint Peter. ""No, according to out calculations, you're eighty two."" ""How's you get that?"" the lawyer asks. Answers St. Peter: ""We added up your time sheets.""

Three men die and go to heaven and queue to meet St. Peter. St. Peter: Hi what's your name? Paul: My name is Paul. St. Peter: Hi Paul. Tell me when you died how much were you earning? Paul: 120K. St. Peter: Wow! Tell me Paul what were you doing to earn that kind of money? Paul: I was a lawyer. St. Peter: That's great. Come on in. St. Peter then turned to the second man. Hi what's your name? Roger: My name is Roger. St. Peter: Hi Roger. Tell me when you died how much were you earning? Roger: 60…

A lawyer and the pope die at the same time and go to heaven... The pope is first and meets St. Peter at the gates to heaven. St. Peter says welcome to heaven and gives him a nice little plot of land with a decent sized house. The lawyer is next and St. Peter directs him to this huge mansion on the shore of a beautiful lake with anything the lawyer could want. The lawyer asks St. Peter "Why do I get this mansion with anything I could ask for and the holiest man on earth gets a small house?" St. …

A dead lawyer lawyer dies in his sleep and arrives at the gates of heaven. He asks St Peter "Why am I here? I was healthy, and so young!" St Peter replies "Young? You were 103 years old!" The lawyer says "What? No! I was 36!!" St Peter looks at his ledger and then says "Ahh, I see the problem. We were going by hours billed."