Two 9/11 conspiracy theorists are in a plane when it crashes An instant later they find themselves in the afterlife, being judged by Almighty God Himself. One falls to his knees, "I deplore you, all-powerful Creator of the universe! Before you judge me, I humbly beg you, reveal who was behind the September 11 attacks!" God sighs. "Muslim extremists. Al-Qaeda and Osama bin Laden did it." His friend leans down and whispers, "Damn, dude. This thing goes way higher up than we ever realized." E:…

A conspiracy theorist dies and goes to heaven... When he arrives at the Pearly Gates, God is there to receive him. ""Welcome. You are permitted to ask me one question, which I will answer truthfully."" Without hesitating, the conspiracy theorist asks, ""Did Bush do 9/11?"" God replies, ""Bush did not plan the attacks. 9/11 was perpetrated by Al-Qaeda and orchestrated by Osama Bin Laden. No bombs were planted in the Twin Towers, and no missiles hit the Pentagon. The U.S. government had no forekno…

Two conspiracy theorists are flying on a plane to a convention when it crashes. They find themselves before God and tell him "We are but humble men, and for all our life we have sought the truth. You are all-knowing, so you know all the answers." "What is your question?" "We would really like to know who was really behind the 9/11". "Osama bin Laden and the Al Qaeda as a part of a plot to destabilize the United States." "Holy shit, dude." whispers one of them to another. "This goes even dee…

Me: Define Illegal Cop: You're drunk, riding a horse, shooting a gun and yelling 'For Narnia' Me: I want my lawyer.