A soldier is at the bar when his buddy walks in. The buddy, surprised to see him, asks... Buddy: Hey how did you escape Iraq? Soldier: Iran.

Chinese herbologist A man with an embarrassing condition walks into a bar one day, sad and depressed. He orders a shot, then another, and then another. Finally, the bartenders asks him ""hey, what's wrong buddy?"". The man replies ""I've got this really embarrassing condition, and no doctor has ever been able to figure out how to cure it"". The bartender says ""well, why don't you tell me about it?"". ""Ok"", says the man, ""you see.....whenever I fart, it comes out HONDA!!!"". I've tried everyt…

A drunk enters... ...a confessional booth. The priest is waiting for the sinner to speak up, but the drunk doesn't say a word. After a while the priest coughs... nothing... he coughs again... nothing. The priest was patient until now, but enough is enough: he starts banging on the wooden grid. The drunk finally speaks up: "You're knocking to no avail, buddy... there ain't any toilet paper here either..."

When you die and you're in your casket and friends and family are mourning you... Three friends are sitting in a bar drinking, when one turns to the others and asks, "When you die and you're in your casket and friends and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you?" The first guy thinks and says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor, and a great family man." The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school te…