Stalin walks into a field Farm worker: Comrade Stalin, we have so many potatoes that, piled one on top of the other, they would reach all the way to God! Stalin: But God does not exist. Farm worker: And neither do the potatoes.

Stalin's General Assembly Stalin reads his report to the Party Congress. Suddenly someone sneezes. ""Who sneezed?"" Silence. ""First row! On your feet! Shoot them!"" They are shot, and he asks again, ""Who sneezed, Comrades?"" No answer. ""Second row! On your feet! Shoot them!"" They are shot too. ""Well, who sneezed?"" At last a sobbing cry resounds in the Congress Hall, ""It was me! Me!"" Stalin looks at them and says, ""Bless you, Comrade!

Stalin & the sneezer Stalin is giving a long speech at an event, naturally in front of a huge audience. While he's in full flow, somebody near the front of the hall sneezes. Stalin stops and surveys the crowd. ""Who sneezed?"" he asks. Deathly silence. ""I repeat,"" says Stalin, ""who sneezed?"" Not a peep. ""Very well,"" says Stalin. ""First row, stand up!"" Everyone in the first row stands up. ""Guards! Open fire!"" A few seconds later, the entire first row of the audience is lying in bloo…

My Favorite Stalin Joke Stalin reads his report to the Party Congress. Suddenly someone sneezes. "Who sneezed?" Silence. "First row! On your feet! Shoot them!" They are shot, and he asks again, "Who sneezed, Comrades?" No answer. "Second row! On your feet! Shoot them!" They are shot too. "Well, who sneezed?" At last a sobbing cry resounds in the Congress Hall, "It was me! Me!" Stalin says, "Bless you, Comrade!"