An interview with a Pirate A reporter was interviewing a pirate. He asked, "Sir, how did you lose your leg?" "Well, matey, that was back in the bloody war o' '72, when we cut the heads off o' every last one of the deadliest rascals on the Seven Seas, The Mutineers." "How did you lose your hand?" "That was in a sword fight between me and Captain Jackie Douglas, the scalawag. I beat him good that day, but lost me hand in the battle. Now all I have is this hook." "How did you lose your eye?" "Well, actually matey... some bird poo landed in it." "Surely that shouldn't be cause to remove the eye altogether!" "No... but that was the day I got me hook."