Late Night A guy was standing in a bar when a stranger walks in. After a while they get to talking and at about 10:30 PM the second guy says, ""Oh well,I better get home.My wife doesn't like me to stay out during late night."" The first guy replies, ""I'll help you out of this. Just do what I say. Go home. Sneak into the bedroom. Pull back the covers. Get down between her legs then lick, lick and lick for about 20 minutes and there will be no complaints in the morning."" The guy agrees to try th…

Mrs. Smith is having trouble with her husband falling asleep in church... ... and it was really embarrassing for her to be seen with him constantly nodding off. So Mrs. Smith asks the preacher before Sunday service if he has any ideas for her. He thinks about it, then hands her a pin and says, ""Every time I signal you with this gesture, poke your husband with this pin."" Mrs. Smith acknowledged his instructions and sat down with her husband for the service. Shortly into the sermon, Mr. Smith ha…

So a Nun Walks into a Liquor Store... ...and shyly asks for a bottle of their finest Vodka. The Store own replys, ""I'm sorry mam, but your mother superior has already informed me that you are not to buy any alcohol from me."" 'But sir!"" she replied, ""It is for the mother superior. She's....constipated..."" and she hands the store owner a letter. Sure enough, it was a message from the mother superior, stating that she was constipated and was going to use the alcohol for medical reasons and a s…

A guy goes into the confessional box after years being away from the Church. He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down. There's a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the best vestry wine, Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby, and on the wall a fine photographic display of various women who appear to have misplaced their garments. He hears a priest come in. ""Father, forgive me for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession and I must admit that …