Engineer Jokes! **#1** An engineer who was unemployed for a long time decided to open a medical clinic. He puts a sign outside the clinic: "A cure for your ailment guaranteed at $500; we'll pay you $1,000 if we fail." A Doctor thinks this is a good opportunity to earn $1,000 and goes to his clinic. Doctor: "I have lost my sense of taste." Engineer: "Nurse, please bring the medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth." Doctor: "This is Gasoline!" Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500." The Doctor gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days later to recover his money. Doctor: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything." Engineer: "Nurse, please bring the medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth." Doctor: "But that is Gasoline!" Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500." The Doctor leaves angrily and comes back after several days, more determined than ever to make his money back. Doctor: "My eyesight has become weak." Engineer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for this. Take this $1,000," passing the doctor a $500 note. Doctor: "But this is $500..." Engineer: "Congratulations! You've got your vision back! That will be $500." **#2** One is a mechanical engineer, one is an electrical engineer, and one is a computer engineer. The car breaks down and coasts to the side of the road. "Hang on," says the mechanical engineer. "The problem is probably the engine, let me have a look at it and I'll have us on the road again in no time." "Wait," says the electrical engineer. "The way it just stopped like that, I think it's the electrical system. Let me have a look and I'll get us going again in a minute or two." "Hold on," says the computer engineer. "Why don't we all just get out of the car and get in again, and then see if it starts?" **#3** The first says: "God must be a mechanical engineer -- just look at the joints in the human body." The second says: "God is an electrical engineer -- just look at the nervous system." The third says: "God has to be a civil engineer -- who else would run a waste disposal pipeline through a perfectly good recreational area?"