"Welcome to another meeting of Horse Club. Let's try to actually get something done today. All in favor?" Crowd: "NEIGH!" "Jesus Christ."

[cops knock on my door] "Sir?" "Nobody's home." "Who said that then?" "My dog." "Jesus Christ, well do u know when Mr Hughes will be back?"

Jesus Christ! I forgot to buy dog food last night and now my dogs are playing a Sarah McLachlan album and googling humane society.

Hitler walks into a room... [NSFW] (sorry if repost) ...and says to his staff, ""I want you to organise the execution of 10,000 Jews and 1 kitten."" Everyone looks around the table and after a long silence, Goering pipes up, ""Mein Fuhrer, why do you want to kill a kitten?"" Hitler smiles and turns to the rest of the table, ""You see, no one cares about the Jews.""