BOSS: There's limited parking at the event so we are going to carpool ME (pulling a pair of floaties out of my desk drawer): oh hell yeah

Honk if you love Jesus Got a letter from Grandma the other day. She writes... The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a ""Honk if you love Jesus"" bumper sticker. I was feeling particularly sassy that day because I had just come from a thrilling choir performance, followed by a thunderous prayer meeting, so I bought the sticker and put it on my bumper. Boy, I'm glad I did! What an uplifting experience that followed! I was stopped at a red light at a busy intersection, just…

The Experienced logger A Newfie decides to travel across Canada to see the Pacific Ocean. When he gets to Nanaimo, he likes the place so much that he decides to stay. But first he must find a job. He walks into the forestry company office and fills out an application as an 'Experienced' logger. It's his lucky day. They just happen to be looking for someone. But first, the bush foreman takes him for a ride into the bush in the company pickup truck to see how much he knows. The foreman stops the t…

A guy shows up at the Pearly Gates [Long] Saint Peter welcomes him and says, ""Welcome! Before I let you into heaven, I'd like to look over your life actions to see if you were a good person."" The guy agrees and Peter opens his book. Saint Peter looks very concerned one moment, then very confused the next moment, and eventually the guy asks if there's a problem. ""Well, I'm troubled that I can't find one single good deed you've done in your whole life. That doesn't help you out. But I'm confuse…