Bill Gates dies in a car accident, He finds himself in purgatory, being sized up by St. Peter. ""Well, Bill, I'm really confused on this call; I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or Hell. After all, you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almost every home in America, yet you also created that ghastly Windows '95. I'm going to do something I've never done before in your case; I'm going to let you decide where you want to go."" Bill replied, ""Well, what's the difference bet…

A Presidential Joke A guy, long suspecting that his wife was cheating on him, decided to try to catch her in the act. He noticed that on Tuesdays and Thursdays, while he was working out, that when he got home the bed would be kind of messed up, and his wife always made the bed. So one Thursday he decided to leave work early. He got to his apartment and started to unlock the locks and heard some noises. He finally bursts in and sees a pair of men's pants, mans button up shirt, and tie. He then go…

A bad joke about religion. Johannes Gutenberg is tinkering in his shop when St. Peter walks in. ""Behold! My newest invention! The printing press!"" He proclaims. ""What does it do?"" St. Peter asks. ""It makes books easier to print! It only takes a single person to operate."" ""Have you no sense of compassion, Gutenberg? Think of all the poor scribes you'll put out of work!"" ""Nonsense, Pete. They'll have more time for studying instead of mindless scribbles."" ""That's all fine, Gutenberg,"" s…

A minister concluded that his church was getting into serious financial troubles. While checking the church storeroom, he discovered several cartons of new bibles that had never been opened and distributed. So at his Sunday sermon, he asked for three volunteers from the congregation who would be willing to sell the bibles door-to-door for $10 each to raise the desperately needed money for the church. Peter, Paul and Louie all raised their hands to volunteer for the task. The minister knew that P…