bear hug Kim Jong Il and Vladimir Putin are having a summit meeting in Moscow. During a break, they're bored, and they decide to take a bet to see whose bodyguards are more loyal. Putin is on the 20th floor and calls on his bodyguard Ivan, opens the window, and says: ""Ivan, jump!"" Sobbing, Ivan says: ""Mr. President, how can you ask me to do that? I have a wife and child waiting for me at home..."" Putin sheds a tear himself, apologizes to Ivan, and sends him away. Next, it's Kim Jong Il's tur…

Vladimir Putin Speech Vladimir Putin is giving a speech in Moscow. He is praising his government for bringing economic prosperity to the nation of Russia. "In my government every citizen has a television set and an automobile to drive!" He says to thunderous applause. Once the applause subsides, a hand goes up near where Putin is and he notices. He calls out to the man whose hand is raised and says, "What is it that you wish to say, citizen?" The man begins to speak to Putin and the crowd quie…

Vladimir Putin making a school visit... Vladimir Putin, wanting to get on the good side of voters, goes to visit a school in Moscow to have a chat with the kids. He talks to them about how Russia is a powerful nation and how he wants the best for the people. At the end of the talk, there is a section for questions, Little Alina puts her hand up and says "I have two questions" "Why did the Russians take Crimea? And Why are we sending troops to Ukraine?" Putin says "Good questions" But just as …

Putin and Obama meet in Moscow They're debating the merits of their respective societies. They argue about moral values and which country is doing better. Obama: I've heard that all Russian are alcoholics. Putin: That's a Russophobic myth. I bet there's not a single drunk out in Moscow tonight. Obama: I don't believe you. I bet if we take your limo out for a spin I'll see some drunks staggering around. Putin: Okay, let me prove you wrong. We'll drive around and if you see a single drunk y…