Notes To The Rural Milkman ""Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one."" ""Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk."" ""Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it"" ""Milkman please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk."" ""Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks."" ""Sorry about yesterdays note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints,…

Dad to kid: "Connor, eat your food!" "Eat your food!" "Eat your food!" "Eat your food!" Me: *turns around, eats all of kid's food*

what if all your eggs hatched and when u opened the fridge a dozen baby chicks were staring up at u like u were their mom

Here's one for the mothers out there: the three bears retold A far more accurate account of the events of that fateful morning.... Baby bear goes downstairs, sits in his small chair at the table. He looks into his small bowl. It is empty.. 'Who's been eating my porridge?' he squeaks. Daddy Bear arrives at the big table and sits in his big chair.. He looks into his big bowl and it is also empty. 'Who's been eating my porridge?!?' he roars. Mummy Bear puts her head through the serving hatch from t…