You're not truly a parent until you've crawled through the McDonalds urine tubes to pull out a crying child.

I ate a kid’s meal at McDonalds today His mom called the cops on me

I just saw a hot mom at McDonalds spank her kid after he threw his fries on the ground ...so I threw my fries on the ground too.

"Pika pika pika!" [translated] "I'm sorry, children. Your father was stolen by a Pokemon trainer who has to beat a child named Gary."