You're not truly a parent until you've crawled through the McDonalds urine tubes to pull out a crying child.

I ate a kid’s meal at McDonalds today His mom called the cops on me

I ate a kid's meal at McDonald's today His mother did not seem happy

"Pika pika pika!" [translated] "I'm sorry, children. Your father was stolen by a Pokemon trainer who has to beat a child named Gary."