Julius Caesar: I’m here to see Cleopatra. Guard: I’m sorry sir. She’s in bed with Laryngitis. Caesar: Who’s that bastard?? I’ll kill him!

I cut my finger on a beer can, I now know how Julius Caesar felt when he was betrayed by his best friend.

Why did Julius Caesar want to quit politics? All that backstabbing was too much for him.

What's the difference between Julius Caesar and Genghis Khan? Caesar: ""I came, I saw, I conquered."" Khan: ""I conquered, I saw, I came.""