Why is everyone afraid of Vladimir Putin? Because Vlad is Putin everyone in their place. I'll let myself out.

Trump and Putin decide theyre going to decide WW3 with a Dog Fight So they agree on coming back in a couple of years after training a dog for the occasion and rather than wasting millions of human lives and countless dollars they agree that the winner of the dog fight is the offical winner of WW3. Some time passes and they meet up again. Putin shows up with a mean looking Russian Shepard all muscle and just foaming with rage and hatred. Trump walks in with a long cage and opens it to reveal a 7f…

Why was Putin late for dinner with Obama? Because he got Snowden.

With the situation in Ukraine... Putin is giving a speech to his people - My people, due Wests sanctions we'll need to tighten our belts and work harder! Voice from the crowd: - We will work two shifts! - Thank you, you must be real patriot of our country! And we'll have to give up western goods and production! - We will work three shifts! - Such patriotism for country! By the way what's your occupation? - I work at morgue...