An antelope goes into a bar. He trots up to the bartender because he's excited to be at a bar but he doesn't gallop because the bar has hardwood flooring and he doesn't want to scuff it with his hooves and also because he's cautious since he has trouble stopping quickly on hardwood floors. When he gets to the bar, he notices the bartender is an electric guitar! The antelope's name is Lupe because his mom thought it would be funny to call him her little antiLupe but she was a drug addict and Lupe…

Jack A husband rushes into the emergency room from work to greet his wife who is giving birth to their first born. He helps all he can; he holds his wife's hand and breathes with her through the pain. The doctor claims to see the head. The husband runs around and watches as this bloody, mess of a human being comes out... However, the doctor pulls out a head. Just a head. The husband jumps in confusion. The wife is silent in shock. The doctor has never seen anything like it. Just when the married…

So a Jewish family has a baby! It's a beautiful baby boy, and they love him very much. The dad wants to know, however, what the little boy will grow up to be like. So he takes the baby to the Rabbi, who says that there's a simple test. On a long table, the Rabbi places a stack of money, a bottle of whiskey, and a Torah. ""If your son crawls to the money, he'll have a good job as a banker, and take care of you and your wife until you're dead and gone. If he goes for the whiskey, he's no good, a d…

A little boy... Nfw'ish So a little boy ran past a cop screaming bloody murder so the cop grabs him by the arm and settles him down. Holding onto his shoulders he look in the boys tear stained eyes and asks ""son what happened?"" The boy snivels up a snot bubble and answers the cop ""Well officer you see my mom always told me to never look at women more beautiful then her or else i would be turned to stone like medusa"" The cop puzzled asks ""ok but why were you screaming?"" The replies ""well i…