A man sees a sign outside a house: 'Talking greyhound For Sale’ He rings the bell, the owner appears and tells him the dog can be viewed in the back garden. The man sees a very nice looking greyhound sitting there. "Do you really talk?" he asks the greyhound. "Oh yes," the greyhound replies. After recovering from the shock of hearing the greyhound talk, the man asks, "So, tell me your story." The greyhound looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I joined the SAS, I thought they’d have me fighting, but turned out I was more useful as a spy, so the transferred me to MI5 - they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with world leaders and that , because no one imagined that a greyhound would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years. Eventually though, the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at Heathrow to do some undercover security work, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded several medals. Did that for a few years, but recently I got married, had a few puppies, and I’ve made a bit of cash over the years, so now I've just retired." The man is amazed. He goes back into the house and asks the owner how much he wants for the greyhound. "Ten quid," the owner says. "£10!!? But this greyhound is absolutely amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheaply?" "Because he's a lying bastard. He's never been out of the garden!”