Penguin visits the desert. A penguin living on the southernmost tip of South America decides he's been freezing his ass off for far too long. He decides to rent a car and take a road trip up the West coast to warmer destinations. Eventually he winds up in San Diego, where he sees a sign for Las Vegas and decides he'd like to find out what all the fuss is about. So he's driving his rental across the desert, when smoke starts to pour out of the hood. Cursing, he looks over to realize that he's rig…

Penguin in Texas A penguin decided he wanted to take a road trip. He had never really been out of Antarctica and really wanted to check out the States, so he flew to Miami and rented a car with the intent of driving to San Diego before flying home. Well, everything is going swimmingly until, somewhere in the middle of Texas when the low oil pressure' light comes on. ""That's not good"" says the penguin. he pulls off the highway and as luck would have it, finds a small town with a service station…

Peyton Manning suffered an embarrassing day on the football field on Sunday... ... with the worst performance of his Hall of Fame career. His arm is no longer there. Not since the O.J. Simpson car chase up the San Diego Freeway has America been so disappointed in a slow white Bronco.

Stupid people fearing WANTED FOR ATTEMPTED MURDER (actual AP headline) Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her inlaws, and while there, she went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries. Several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open,…