Putin dies and goes to hell Putin dies and goes to hell. One day the devil allows him a day back on earth. Putin goes to a bar in Moscow. He ask the bartender "Is Crimea ours?" "yes" "Donbass?" "Thats also ours" "Kyiv?" "Ours" Putin is happy and prepares to go back to hell, he asks the barteneder "How much do I owe you?" "5 euros"

Vladimir Putin suffers a heart attack and falls into a coma... ... A few years later, he wakes up, gets back on his feet and walks out of his room, right past the sleeping guard. He walks out of the hospital onto the streets of Moscow, and finds that most people don't recognize him. Several years of vegetative coma seem to have taken its toll on his appearance. After wandering around for a bit, he stumbles into the nearest bar. He sits down at the bar and orders a full glass of vodka. He sips…

Vladimir Putin and his driver were on their way to Kyiv in a car when all of a sudden they hit a pig near a farmhouse, killing it instantly. Putin told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. About one hour later, Putin sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of Horilka (Ukrainian vodka) in one hand, a cigar in the other, and his clothes all disheveled. "What happened to you?" asked Putin. "Well, the farmer gave me the Horilka, hi…

Putin dies and goes to hell After a while, he is given a day off for good behavior. So he decides to visit Moscow, enters a bar, orders a drink, and asks the bartender: -Is Crimea ours? -Yes, it is. -And the Donbas? -Also ours. -And Kyiv? -We got that too. Satisfied, Putin finishes his drink, and asks: -Thanks, how much do I owe you? -5 euros