Putin dies and goes to hell Putin dies and goes to hell, but after a while, he is given a day off for good behavior. So he goes to Moscow, enters a bar, orders a drink, and asks the bartender: -Is Crimea ours? -Yes, it is. -And the Donbas? -Also ours. -And Kyiv? -We got that too. Satisfied, Putin drinks, and asks: -Thanks, how much do I owe you? -5 euros.

Putin dies and goes to hell Putin dies and goes to hell. One day the devil allows him a day back on earth. Putin goes to a bar in Moscow. He ask the bartender "Is Crimea ours?" "yes" "Donbass?" "Thats also ours" "Kyiv?" "Ours" Putin is happy and prepares to go back to hell, he asks the barteneder "How much do I owe you?" "5 euros"

Vladimir Putin suffers a heart attack and falls into a coma... ... A few years later, he wakes up, gets back on his feet and walks out of his room, right past the sleeping guard. He walks out of the hospital onto the streets of Moscow, and finds that most people don't recognize him. Several years of vegetative coma seem to have taken its toll on his appearance. After wandering around for a bit, he stumbles into the nearest bar. He sits down at the bar and orders a full glass of vodka. He sips…

One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in despair, he has his first meeting with The Devil... The Devil: Why so glum? Guy: Why do you think? I'm in hell. The Devil: Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here... You a drinking' man? Guy: Sure, I love to drink. The Devil: Well you're gonna love Mondays. On Mondays that's all we do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, beer ...we drink until we throw up and then we dr…