The Balloon Boy A balloon boy was walking to school one day when he found a safety pin. He picked it up and went to class. During class he was playing about with it when he accidentally flicked it at his friend, who immediately started to deflate. He freaked out and ran out of the room, bumping into the door on the way out and puncturing it - so the school started to deflate too. He was really freaked now and ran straight into the school principal with the same result. He ran from the school all…

Story I heard when I was younger Green Golf Ball Joke - There was a little boy playing out in the back yard. His parents came out to him and asked for him to come in so they could talk about something every important. They are sitting at the kitchen table when the parents began to explain to him that sometimes two people who loved each other very much at one time can fall out of that love and they must get a divorce. They asked him if he understood and he said he did. He went to bed and the n…

Chinese herbologist A man with an embarrassing condition walks into a bar one day, sad and depressed. He orders a shot, then another, and then another. Finally, the bartenders asks him ""hey, what's wrong buddy?"". The man replies ""I've got this really embarrassing condition, and no doctor has ever been able to figure out how to cure it"". The bartender says ""well, why don't you tell me about it?"". ""Ok"", says the man, ""you see.....whenever I fart, it comes out HONDA!!!"". I've tried everyt…

Weight loss program An overweight guy is begging his doctor to help him lose weight. After some discussion, the doctor understands how desperate he is, so he offers to tell him about an unconventional technique. ""Anything, Doc! I'll do anything!"" ""Well, the human body can absorb enough nutrition from the colon. What we'll do is start by filling it up with an IV solution for a week and see how you do."" The man comes back a week later and 10 pounds lighter. He is delighted. ""Doc, this is grea…