Weight loss program An overweight guy is begging his doctor to help him lose weight. After some discussion, the doctor understands how desperate he is, so he offers to tell him about an unconventional technique. ""Anything, Doc! I'll do anything!"" ""Well, the human body can absorb enough nutrition from the colon. What we'll do is start by filling it up with an IV solution for a week and see how you do."" The man comes back a week later and 10 pounds lighter. He is delighted. ""Doc, this is great, but it's a little boring. There's no flavor or taste."" The doctor gives him an exam, and tells him, ""Well, since this seems to be working OK, you can start on some soft foods, like bananas and oatmeal. Shove those up your ass when you're hungry and see how it goes."" A week later the man is back, 10 pounds lighter and delighted with the way he looks. ""Doc, this is working great. What do we do next?"" ""Well, you seem to be adapting well to the diet. Eat whatever you want through your ass, celery, steak, whatever. Then let's see you back in 2 weeks."" Two weeks later the man is back, 20 pounds lighter, new clothes, and full of energy. He is literally bouncing up and down on his seat. The doctor says, ""Wow, you look great, and full of energy. Is the bouncing some kind of exercise?"" ""Nah,"" says the man, ""just chewing some gum."" ***best done with actions***