If I'm ever in an accident while driving and tweeting and you're the first person to arrive on the scene, grab my phone and press "Send."

The Oreo Joke This is a two part joke that is best told by two people in a social setting. The first person has to be willing to bomb a joke while the second person comes in later with the second part and saves the joke. **Part one** (make sure you open with a good joke or two then close with this first part and be excited about it) : An oreo delivery man is driving his truck on a road along the beach. After a while he hears *Rap! rap! rap!* on his window. He rolls down his window and sees an or…

A bus full of ugly people had a head on collision with a truck. When they died, God granted all of them one wish. The first person said, ""I want to be gorgeous."" God snapped his fingers and it happened. The second person said the same thing and God did the same thing. This want on and on throughout the group. God noticed the last man in line was laughing hysterically. By the time God got to the last ten people, the last man was laughing and rolling on the ground. When the man's turn came, he l…

Surf's up? A Californian surfer visiting Australia was having a good time catching the breakers at resorts along the Gold Coast, but wanted a special experience. He wanted to surf a beach where nobody, or almost nobody, goes. So he gets in the car, drives north. At the first remote beach he hits, he has his board in hand as he's walking toward the water, when one of the locals warns him: ""you don't want to be surfing here, mate: there's too many sharks"". So he heeds the warning, and drives to …