18 pounds at birth A Scotsman was drinking in a bar in London when he gets a call on his cell phone. After he hangs up, he orders drinks for everybody in the bar as he announces his wife has just produced a typical Scottish baby boy weighing 18 pounds. Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 18 pounds, but the man just shrugs and says, "Aye, that's about average up our way, folks...like I said - my boy's a typical Scottish baby boy." Two weeks later the Scot returns to the same bar where the bartender asks, "say, aren't you the father of that typical Scottish baby that weighed 18 pounds at birth...? Everybody's been making' bets about how big he'd be in two weeks.... So how much does he weigh now?" The proud father answers, "14 pounds." The bartender is puzzled and concerned. "What happened?" "He was 18 pounds the day he was born." The father takes a slow swig of his Glenfiddich, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says... "We had him circumcised."