The Mafia Don's Funeral The Mafia don of a city dies. His family hold a public funeral allowing friends family and enemies to come and pay their respects. They take it in turns to come up take a handful of earth to scatter and say a few words. The chief of police takes a handful, scatters it then turns away crying. The Mafia dons family turn to each other asking why the police chief was so upset, until a journalist attending pipes up: "The police chief's upset because he's got the dirt on him now, but never could while he was alive!"