Cop: Know why I stopped you? The dead guy in my trunk? Cop: Um, speeding, but my shift's over, so proper burial and no more murders. Ok?

Jim's car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over... Jim's car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, ""Step out of the car"" says the cop, ""I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test."" ""I can't"", Jim responds ""You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack."" ""Alright,"" says the cop, ""then you're going to have to take a blood test."" ""Can't do that either,"" Jim responds, ""I am a hemophiliac, if a wound is opened, I won't stop bleeding…

A White Man, A Black Man and A Jewish Man... ...were out joyriding in a car they had stolen. They ran a red light and got slammed into by a semi. All three died. They found themselves standing before Satan, scared shitless. The Devil says, ""Fellas, it's my birthday and I'm feeling generous so I'll offer you a deal. Each of you give me $100 and I'll send you back to Earth for another chance."" The white man pops awake, brushes himself off and is looking around at the resulting chaos. Ambulances …

Neighborhood Hazard (Long but worth it) I never dreamed slowly cruising through a residential neighborhood could be so incredibly dangerous! Studies have shown that motorcycling requires more decisions per second, and more sheer data processing than nearly any other common activity or sport. The reactions and accurate decision making abilities needed have been likened to the reactions of fighter pilots! The consequences of bad decisions or poor situational awareness are pretty much the same for …