Putin dies and goes to hell. He's met by the devil, who explains to him that he will be shown three different floors and he has to choose which one to spend eternity in. The devil takes Putin to the first floor where everyone is standing on their heads on a wooden floor. Anytime someone started to tip or fall over, little demons would fly down with whips and whip them until they were again balancing on their heads. It was awful! Putin said, "Niet, no! I need to see the second floor!" So the devil takes Putin to the second floor where again everyone was standing on their heads, but this time on a concrete floor. Same routine with the little demons and the whips if you could not maintain your balance. Again Putin shouted, "Niet! Show me the next floor." So the devil took Putin to the third floor where everyone was standing waste deep in cow manure while drinking coffee. The little demons here were fluttering around handing everyone coffee cups with a nice rich roast. It was certainly not ideal but way better than the other two floors so Putin said, "Da, yes, this will do." With that he waded out into the manure and within seconds a little demon fluttered down with a cup of coffee. Putin sipped the coffee, and though the room smelled horrible from the manure, he thought that after awhile he may be able to get used to it after all. Then about 10 minutes later an alarm sounded and the little demons had whips appear in their hands and began to shout, "All right, coffee breaks over, get back on your heads!"